The Roadmaster aka El Toro

Oooo oooo oooo!  I must share with you the aquisition of "El Toro"

I am just too excited to not share, and yeah whoopeedo a bike, but I haven't had a brand new bike since I was 13.  So dammit this is a big deal!

On a whim last night Ras and I popped into Wal-mart, had a good laugh at their "Spooky Central" banners everywhere hehehe.  ***Note to self: must remember to bring ear plugs to drown out the screeching of bratty children and a bat to knock a path through idiots in my way

I was not after the top of the line, or the most expensive.  I was in fact after a bike for about a bone.  I said to myself, if I find one in that price range I am gonna buy myself a bike!  Well I walk in and I see a crappy bike for $53 bucks, and my heart sinks thinking... frak, everything that is decent (decent for Wal-marche that is) is over what I am willing to spend.  Then my grazing eye glances past a bike... a decent looking bike and it's $63 bucks.  Even better it's marked down to $59.99!!!!  WOOOO!  It's mine.

Now the horror of getting someone to help us.  It took 3 pages from the sporting goods section and my cross look with a "Is there a manager about?" question that got me some help.  In all fairness, the sporting goods guy left his post to go cover the asses of the two people that were supposed to be helping out in the bike section.  So YAY for sporting goods guy, he rocked the night for me.  Those other two slackers... I hope you guys have to pick up dropped merchandise off the floor while a morbidly obese woman who hasn't showered stands over you, bitching at you loudly that your 99 cent 4 pack of toilet paper is out of stock while she looks down at you all prostrate on the floor picking up her unpaid for merchandise.  The hot stink of an angry shopper is what I wish upon you bastards.

So I ended up with a new bike, helmet, tail lights, head light, u-lock and some suet cakes for my birdy friends all for $125.   Yeah... it's a Wallyworld bike I know.  Yes it says "Roadmaster" in giant letters (which makes me think "Assmaster" for some reason), but it's new and it's mine and if it gets stolen I won't cry too hard because it was so cheap.  That is... unless I bond with the bike, then I will cry if it gets ripped off.

So we crammed it into the back of my parent's Honda Accord (we had it for the weekend... but that's another story).  And Yes, a full sized mountain bike can fit into the backseat without disassembly and without any harm or scuffmarks or rips or tears in the car.

We are driving home and about every 5 minutes I pipe up and go "Eeee! I got a new bike!" and giggle... like a happy tard.  When we got it home and both of us took it out for a late night test drive and we were both pleased with the purchase.  It was while I had it sitting in the hallway that I noticed that it looked to me like it had bullhorns.  The handle bars are like a normal mountain bike, they are straight, but then they have this extra piece that goes forward.  It looks like horns!

So I stood there looking at my charcoal grey and blue bike (I got the Men's 26" because it fit nice and because it didn't look ridiculous and bright purple... with the women's bike it looked like I needed a freakin' white wicker basket with plastic daisies on the front of it with a stuffed plushy unicorn with a rainbow horn riding in that basket... it ain't that kinda party folks) with horns and from the angle I was viewing it, to me it looked as if it were some poor malnutritioned bull, and I said with my best spanish accent:
"I shall call you.... El Toro"

El Toro it has now been named, and hopefully El Toro will help me in my quest to loose some of this fat ass.  I don't want to be that morbidly obese unshowered angry lady I was talking about before... that would suck.