1 post tagged “cheese”
It kills pinky toes that is. Goat Cheese kills pinky toes.
Okay, so apparently it is my turn once more to have an enormously horrid string of bad luck. After all that has happened with the golf ball incident, I was not in the mood to cook yesterday especially after working all day. So Ras and I head down to the store and we buy this locally produced frozen gourmet dinner thing. It was chicken breasts in a orange port sauce with leeks, cherries and kalamata olives. Sounds yummy, so we get it.
We get home, I pop it in the oven. It's got to bake for about 45 minutes so I put in Disc 1 from Season 1 of the new Doctor Who. My thought was that at the end of the first episode I would get up and put some fresh pasta on to lay the chicken breasts on.
The plan was going as planned like good plans do.
Whoever said that whole thing about plans going astray, well they were jerks and I don't think it was a sentiment as much as it was a curse to humanity and those with inheirent bad luck would get the short end of that statement on a regular basis.
Due to my job, I often have my freezer crammed full of ingredients that freeze well and that are a pain in the ass to run around and search out the markets for. So often times I'll buy an extra of something to have it on hand to save a running my ass off trip around town, that way I can get to work quicker. One of these things is goat cheese. I buy it in a tube that is about 3 inches in diameter and about 7 inches long. It freezes really well too... like hard as a rock.
So I open my freezer to pull out some linguini that my friends over at Perche' No made for me, I got it fresh and if I don't use the fresh pasta right away I like to pop it into the freezer until I need it. Works out nicely. I spot the pasta safely tucked into a freezer ziploc and I give it a pull.
All of a sudden I see a white bullet, like a 50 caliber bullet of goat cheese come flying out at me. As soon as it escapes the track of frozen edibles that is guiding it to its path of destruction, it makes an arc and zeros in on its target. My pinky toe.
It lands and I feel it crack, not the cheese.... the toe. I yelp. Water starts pouring from my eyes uncontrollably while I try to shrug off the pain. In my head I am standing there thinking "Come on old girl, this is just like a stubbed toe, quit being such a baby!" and I go to take a step.... yeah that's not so good. Another half scream/half yelp comes out of my mouth and Ras comes running and finds me struggling to stand up. For you see, when I took that step trying to shrug it off and walk it off the pain was so bad that I saw twinkly flashes and my body hurled itself backwards in a clumsy attempt to make me take the weight off the foot. This is one of the few instances where I've listened to the body and sat my ass down with poor Ras doctoring me while I sat there pissed off at myself and grumbling.
Over the course of about 5 minutes my cute little piddy at the end of the lane fattened up to almost compete in size with my big toe with an amazing vibrant purple and red tone. Fabulous.
I can live with a broken toe, I've had one before when a parking curb got dropped on it (long story that I will have to indulge you all with another time... it involves tainted brownies, parties, parking and pee). They hurt, they suck, they are inconvienient without a doubt. I have a pretty high threshold of pain though. I've stabbed myself (accidently of course) almost sliced this finger or that finger off, had a fractured spine and have had a metal post skewer my shin bone. I mean all of that hurt but I'm not a whiner. I know that pain is part of the healing process, you can't fark up your bodily tissues and not experience some discomfort while they mend themselves. But this freaking hurts. I feel this uncontrollable need to whine, which is totally unlike me when it comes to this kind of stuff. I don't even take pain killers, but this pain makes me feel like popping some like m&ms. Stupid pinky toe!!! STUPID GOAT CHEESE BULLET!
To make matters worse, I am sitting here typing this when I should be getting ready to take my Father and Niece to the Fair today. A Fair... a big lot of land about 8 city blocks square filled with amusement park rides, greasy food and carnies. And I will be there walking around all Quasimodo style with my fooked up toe fitting in with the carnies.
Fabulous.
Well... wish me luck. I have about 6 hours of straight walking around a kid infested, carnie crawling, crusty pup eating environment with a big black broken pinky toe.
*cries*
